Thursday, December 31, 2009

Saying Goodbye.

This year has been lucrative for funeral homes. Between the celebrities and my own family members, I have to say that the morticians got dough for the holidays.

I realized the other day that I have lost two uncles, a cousin, and an aunt this year. My aunt Trish got in just under the gun by passing away on December 21st. It was highly unexpected. I fully believed that she would beat her cancer. It never even occurred to me that she wouldn't. So when we got the call last Monday morning, I was shocked. It had spread everywhere. But the real cause of her death was complications due to the chemo.

I have already decided that if I ever get cancer (which will not happen if I get my way) that I will forgo the chemo and find another route. I don't care what stage I'm at, how long the doctors give me, whatever. I can fight cancer another way. Chemo is not the only option, it's just usually the only option doctors will give (don't get me started on kick-backs - that's for another post).

Anyhow, I've been pretty down about Trish's passing. She's leaving a twelve-year-old behind. All I want to do is put my arms around Caity and tell her it will be okay, but I can't make the trip to NY now (it seems no one can). She seems to be doing alright. Trish had probably prepared her ahead of time. Very sad situation. But there it is. My dad's only sibling is gone now too. Now it's just us: me, Shannon, and Caitlyn. Oh, and now Lily.

It's these deaths that seem to just keep coming that remind me of the life I really want to lead, and so far, haven't. It also makes me curious of what lies on the other side of that line, the one that separates us. I've commented before to people that it's almost cruel that human existence is split into two parts and that those parts have a very fixed wall between them. We can't know those things that lie beyond yet. And we cannot be with those who've already journeyed there. I know my time is coming, and I'm reminded that there will be others that I will lose before then, when those eternal truths are finally revealed to me.

Until then, farewell Uncle Curt, Uncle Dick, Russell, and Aunt Trish.

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